Why I Chose My Husband Over Other Suitors
If you don’t know who you are and what you want in life, the winds of life will move you in any direction. One of the principles the Holy Spirit taught me is the principle of desire and envisioning. I have used this principle even as a single lady.
When I was eight years old, my parents, who were so much in love with each other, parted ways. It was so shocking to me that a couple with such a great friendship could ever divorce. This single act caused a programming in my mind: men are not trustworthy. A few years later, my beautiful mom died at 39. At this point, I was stuck and broken. My dad later got born again and became a missionary, and we never saw him for years.
I took the position of leadership in my family to care for my siblings as a teenager without a job, education, or help from anyone. This automatically meant that I had to survive by the only skill I learned from mom, which was farming. I also learned hunting of Periwinkle from my childhood friend Basie.
One day, I went to visit my late uncle to ask if I could get support to start a groundnut business, and he tried to lure me to marry one man that came to his house that day.
I felt bad and left, went back to the village to hustle in the forest to support my siblings. One thing is certain: I needed a man who would be a father to me. You see, women should know this: a man who is capable of playing the role of a father can become anything to you, one of which is the role of security, spiritual, emotional, financial, physical. The greatest need of a woman is love and security.
So I settled in my heart that I needed a husband who shall be like a father to me. When I was single, I painted a picture of the kind of husband I needed. The first thing I asked God for was the fear of God. This is very important; I considered God and his kingdom before marriage. I don’t want a man who will kill my vision. I have experienced failed relationships as a single lady, and I’m glad those relationships never worked out.
God was preparing me for a better future. It takes a man like my husband to see gold in a woman. If you had known me years ago, you wouldn’t believe I could evolve to this level of becoming an influencer to tens of thousands of women globally.
One day, I took an analysis of my failed relationships as a single lady and the untimely death of my mom. I noticed that my mom died because we couldn’t afford her medical bills, and all the guys that left me were a result of a lack of value. I was undeveloped; I wasn’t very relevant in the marketplace. It takes a spiritual man to see beyond what a natural man sees about me. I was a school dropout. One guy said to me, “Sister Jane, you are everything a man needs in a woman. You fear God, you have good character, you are beautiful and hardworking, but I’m sorry, I can’t marry you.”
It was painful then, but all that doesn’t define me because it takes a great man to discern a great woman. When my husband said to me, “you are like an unrefined gold,” those words hit me hard. Alas, someone has discerned me; I can start my transformational journey. My husband loves me and welcomes everyone around me, which makes him my hero.
I don’t know who is reading this, maybe life has struck you hard, you have experienced failed relationships in the past, but relax, I was like you years ago, blaming myself, calling myself a failure. But see, the law of desire and envisioning works. Write out the kind of man you want in line with the scriptures and don’t settle for less.
COACH JANE AUSTIN
